THE CREATIVE SIDE OF RELATIONSHIP.... E PLUS The Storyteller.
"I just feel he doesn't love me anymore." Fadeke lamented.
"Really? Why do you say so?" Mama Sunbo asked, as she was quite curious.
"Mama Sunbo, I don't understand my husband any more, before we got married, he would accept any meal I prepare, but now, he is always craving for this, and that! Ah! His wahala is becoming too much. Looks like I irritate him everytime we are together! Little thing I do, upsets him. I don't even know what I have done! Oti remi o!(I'm tired o!)" Fadeke lamented, further.
"Hmmm! O ga o!(It's serious.) What do you intend to do now? Because it's important to find solution o! This is not ordinary." Mama Tokunbo said.
"Honestly, I'm confused, I'm tired. Do you know we hardly see these days? I don't know when last we even talked, not to talk of ...
"Ehn! Are you serious? Ah! This one has passed 'be careful'." Mama Sunbo, interrupted. Fadeke became quite alarmed.
"Now, you see why I'm worried!" Fadeke reiterated.
"Don't worry, I will take you somewhere, I will take you to 'BABA'." Mama Tokunbo said.
"Ehn ehn? Who is BABA?" Fadeke asked.
"You ask too many questions, don't worry, you will find out, soon. He has solutions to all these kind of problems. Relax." Mummy Sunbo, replied.
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Hmmm.. the above scenerio is not uncommon, it has become a regular narrative in our society today. Everyone is desperate for solutions, especially in relationships. The question is:
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Hmmm.. the above scenerio is not uncommon, it has become a regular narrative in our society today. Everyone is desperate for solutions, especially in relationships. The question is:
HAVE YOU LOOKED INWARDS?
Once you are able to change that straight jacket narrative, then you leave your options open ended.
In relationship, this is not far fetched..
The blame game is part of the stereotype that plays out in our expectations, especially where the line is drawn between the man and the woman, in the rhetorical question:
WHO IS TO BLAME FOR THE FAILURE OF A RELATIONSHIP?
I think, the man and woman has responsibilities they are required to own up to: it's called 'COMMITMENT'.
A relationship is like a house- the foundation must be solid, firm and unwavering, and both parties have to deliberately be a part of the process-
Another Question:
WHAT ARE WE BRINGING TO THE TABLE?
HOW DO WE COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER, WITHOUT SEEING EACH OTHER AS RIVALS?
These are questions that should be analysed, and used as a focal point for progress, and should thrive on creativity, otherwise the relationship becomes one sided...
In a relationship, you should know your strengths, weaknesses, shortcomings, expectations, goals, ambition, and dreams..
Take a walk, attend nerve-relaxing and interractive programs, break out of the regular routine box, engage in indoor or outdoor games, create time to talk(if you have kids, you can send them off, for weekends,)-
BE DELIBERATE ABOUT THESE STEPS!
Constantly X-ray the questions-
CAN YOU ACCOMMODATE ONE ANOTHER WITH ALL OF YOUR BAGGAGES...?
IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO!
Thus the bulk of any relationship (if it succeeds or not) lies on the table of the man and the woman. So instead of going to 'BABA',
IT'S TIME TO CREATIVELY CHANGE THE NARRATIVE.
BUILD YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
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Well done sister. I quite agree with you to a large extent, except that in certain cases,one of the partners is not ready to tango and is so full of himself or herself,and even when you look inwards,the answers don't even come as to what exactly the problem is and the likely solution.
ReplyDeleteHmmm..I quite appreciate your position, and I must say they are valid concerns. I would want us to also look at the possibility of being more patient than we would have want to. Baby step is key, other times, you might just need an alone time, while you reflect on where you are coming from, and begin to consider, doing things differently, even if it means, sacrificing your ego on the altar of making it work.
ReplyDelete