Nnennia Ifepe on MEET THE GUEST...with E PLUS The Storyteller.

E PLUS The Storyteller: Nnennia Ifepe, welcome to this episode of MEET THE GUEST with E PLUS The Storyteller.

 Nnennia Ife: Thank you so much

E PLUS The Storyteller: The last time you were here, we really chatted at length, about so many interesting things.

Nnennia Ife: We really had fun and I enjoyed our deep conversation.

E PLUS The Storyteller: And now, we have so many interesting topics on the table, all related to relationships. Tell me, how would you describe a healthy relationship between the opposite sex?

Nnennia Ife: Is this as regards dating?

E PLUS The Storyteller: Yes, please.

 Nnennia Ife: I will describe a healthy relationship to be one, where both parties have same purpose, and value system. In a nut shell their purpose and values are aligned together. The scripture said in Amos 3 vs 3," Can two walk together except they agree?". The answer is "No", hence any healthy relationship must have certain principles in place . As a Christian I have no business with an unbeliever and this is because our values/ purpose does not align itself.

 I always joke thus,"If God didn't give you assignment like Hosea, to love Gomer please avoid an unbeliever like a plague.

When I say a believer, I mean one who has a personal relationship with God and aligns his values with the scripture. Church attendance and adherence to religious doctrine is not inclusive.

 thus, in the Christian context healthy relationship means where both parties have same values, purpose and by all intent they are firmly rooted on the foundation which is the word of God

E PLUS The Storyteller: Hmmm.. interesting.

Let me take it a little further, what do you say about sexual preferences? Should that be a determinant for choosing a spouse?

Should that be discussed during courtship?

Nnennia  Ifepe: The bible is clear about sexual purity before marriage, and no amount of civilisation can change God's Word.1st Corinthians 6 vs 18 and 19 is clear.Our body is the temple of the holy spirit, and this means that the holy spirit resides in us. How do we joke with our body which is the indwelling of the holy spirit?

We live in a generation where political correctness is the order of the day, but the bible is the ancient word that is ever true and will never change for anyone.

 If the word of God is specific about an instruction, then it is our duty to obey it. I want to mention that we need the Holy Spirit in this journey because it is not an easy one.

E PLUS The Storyteller: Should that also be part of the determinant for choosing a spouse?

Nnennia Ifepe: Biblically, there should be nothing like sex in a Christian courtship. I laugh when people say that sex should be the determining factor for choosing a spouse. I laugh because I know that things may happen after marriage that can alter the sexual drive of  either of the partners, e.g some women are not sexually driven after child birth, and I know men who find it difficult to have sex with their wives after being in the labour ward with them. Some folks have one ailment or the other that will prevent them from maximising their sexual satisfaction in marriage. If we advice people to have sex as determinant for choosing a spouse, please what happens when any of the above or more happens in marriage. I will also state that there is an ample time in marriage for couples to explore, and enjoy themselves wholly hence there is no need for rush. I believe this should not be encouraged where parties have not indulged in sex for the first time, and by this, I mean they are virgins then sex should not be discussed in the relationship. On a lighter note, they have not experienced sex before hence they won't know their preferences.

 I believe they can get christian literatures by seasoned christian counsellors probably some weeks before marriage. There are plethora of books by seasoned Christian authors in this area. 

Caution must be exercised because such books are detailed and if one is not careful, the inevitable may occur.

If parties have been sexually active before they gave their life to Christ, and started practising celibacy, they should also discuss their preferences. Caution must be the word..I said this because of parties who have tasted the inevitable. Caution is the word. This is where we have the responsibility of taking the bull by the horn. Do not go beacation, cuddling up in an enclosed circle, and be discussing sex(Lol), you will fall beyond your imagination

 I am talking about caution because the mind is a breeding ground, and sex takes place in the mind before its actualisation

 Personally I believe that marriage is about healthy compromises, love, support etc. This translates to the fact that there are some healthy compromises which parties may make sexually for the satisfaction of their spouses within the context of marriage.

 On another note, ladies preparing to get married ought to read books like Every woman and books about manhood inorder to know some essentials about womanhood/manhood. The men should also do the above.

I will also add that in marriage the slogan is thus, "They were naked, and not ashamed". 

If we truly follow the scriptural principles of waiting, honesty, sacrifice, patience e.t.c in marriage there is nothing that will make us not to enjoy sex in marriage.

E PLUS The Storyteller: Hmm...These are quite insightful information. Do you think we have more people who are not 'willing to wait?'

 Nnennia Ifepe: On the contrary, there are many singles practising sexual purity, but unfortunately the media portrays the fact that sexual immorality is the order of the day.

 Some of these folks who practise sexual purity are scared to talk about it because they do not want to be seen as obsolete, or not trendy. Some do not want to share experience about their sexual purity journey because of their past. They are scared the folks who know them will use their past against them

  Sex sells which is the mantra, and it is up in our faces but there are still singles who practise sexual purity and they are proud of their decisions to wait

E PLUS The Storyteller: Can we take it from here, for more clarity, What's the definition of Sexual Purity?

 Nnennia Ifepe: Sexual purity is the state of abstaining from sex, sexual thoughts and activities before marriage. Sexual purity is emboldened in our actions and activities. Sexual purity is beyond not having sex. What is your thought like? Some are not involved in penetration, but they are involved in inappropriate sexual behaviours. Some are not involved in inappropriate behaviour, but their thought process is consumed with sex. Sexual purity is all encompassing. 

Funny enough we describe sexual purity as the act of not having sex, and leave out the rest. 

E PLUS The Storyteller: What about those whose virginity has been stolen, one way or the other? How can they fit into this picture?

 Nnennia Ifepe: Sexual purity is not only for virgins. Sexual purity is for everyone who abstains from sex both in actions, thoughts and conduct, they are those who abstains from sex both in thought, words and conduct.

E PLUS The Storyteller: Great. And it's amazing that you are one who projects the message of Sexual Purity unapologetically via your social media handle. What's been your experience thus far, especially with those who think otherwise.

Nnennia Ifepe: I have been cajoled, mocked, ridiculed. I have received threats. I also have folks who receive the message with joy, and together we keep working on ourselves because we are all work in progress.

 E PLUS The Storyteller: Awesome, I guess it's all about the conviction.

 Nnennia Ifepe: Yes. Someone who loves God and have personal relationship with him, and adores Him, will always follow his word.

E PLUS The Storyteller: Amazing🙏

 Nnennia Ifepe: If my conviction is on the Word of God, then sexual purity will be my thing. Unfortunately, some claim to be Christians but have issues with sexual purity. This is why I say that adherence to religious doctrine, and religiosity means nothing.

E PLUS The Storyteller: Hmm..And I guess, fidelity in relationship, requires more than just playing religion?

 Nnennia Ifepe: Yes dearie. Having personal relationship with God stops us from engaging in certain behaviour. Folks who are committed to their spouses don't practise such, because their spouses are the best. They are committed to the Word of God and their marriage.

E PLUS The Storyteller: Splendid.

 Nnennia Ifepe: I want to state that as human beings we may fall short, but the ability to run to the throne room and confess our sins is key instead of justifying our actions.

E PLUS The Storyteller: Any hope for those who seem to have given in to the pressure of compromising, and looking back now, and are filled with regrets?

Nnennia Ifepe: The throne room is filled with grace and mercy for them. The Lord is ever ready and willingly to accept them. They should also have accountable partners who will tell them the truth in love, and follow their truth. They should be militant about their triggers, and safeguard themselves.

 E PLUS The Storyteller: Who is Nnennia Ifepe?

 Nnennia Ifepe: Nnennia ifepe is an ardent believer of the principles of the Word of God, a lawyer, a writer and fun loving person.

 E PLUS The Storyteller: It's always a pleasure chatting with you, Nnennia Ifepe.

Nnennia Ifepe: The pleasure is mine.

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