-

 

                    MADAM APROCO

                     GBEDU WAHALA

   Created/Written by E PLUS The Storyteller



     

The tin wey happun to me last Saturday ehn...hmmm! No be small tin ooo, my people, how una dey? Na me again oh...madam Aproco. Una know say, me I no dey fit keep anytin from una. So, my tori be say, last week saturday, all of us for my compound dey prepare for one owambe like dat...

I knack my big scaf, on top the new white lace wey I buy on credit (I neva even pay finish). As I ready for the gbedu, I chatter taxi, because I no want make the white lace stain, I no fit shout! Na so I balance, I no even bother to wine up the windscreen because the taxi no get AC. Small time, sleep carry me go as breeze dey blow me, the breeze, ehn... no be here o!

Small time, I here 'Gbum!' like bomb!

Na so I wake up o! Before I go open my mouth to shout, na so the driver carry us land for gutter! Hmmm..no be small tin ooo, if no be say, people quick come push the motor to the other side, no be dis one, person for dey yarn by now! 

  Na so everybody just dey tell me,

    "Madam sorry! Madam sorry!" As I land for ground. I no fit even talk, na so gutter soak my fine white lace! As I still dey dey look myself, na im the driver come meet me, talk say, 

  "Madam, abeg  wey your money?"

I no even  know when my back hand woze am slap! As we dey talk  so the driver still dey hospital, police say make I come write statement for Police station, while the woman wey sell the,,, lace to me, dey call me 'Onigbese!'

Anyway I no blame her, at all. No be her fault! My people, una doh! Make I go hustle small, I go come back with another gist, next time. Wekobiwo ooo!

My name still be MADAM APROCO, any other one na counterfeit.

______________________________________





_C.E.O JIRADE DIADEM... VARIETIES OF JIRADE CRUNCHES.

Potato chips, Plantain Chips, Cashew Nuts, and Kulikuli

  www.instagram.com/jiradeventures


    https://www.instagram.com/p/CIEHKAOJoFV/?igshid=jbp3orvo0c4v

______________________________________



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

GREEN LAND. Written by E PLUS The Storyteller.

-
Image
  GREEN LAND... Written by E PLUS The Storyteller. "You should have seen the way chief was looking at me last night? Emini said with so much delight. "Eh ehn! Like seriously? But...wait ooo what about his Olori?" Sofunmi replied.   For a moment, Emini became quite upset, and she faced the other way.  "What kind of useless question is that?  I'm I the Olori's keeper? Is it my fault that her husband's eyes caught mine? Jor o!" Emini snapped.  "Oya nau! Pele!(Sorry), mabinu oremi, jor!(Don't be upset my friend, please)." "Hmmm! Ko si wahala (No problem) meanwhile, what is this rumour that we are hearing about GREEN LAND?" Emini responded. "Oremi, if I tell you that I understand, I will be lying to you." Sofunmi exclaimed. "Hmmm.. this is serious o! So very soon, this oyibo people will take over our small community?" Emini exclaimed further. "Na so o! Not only that o .. they will turn this small communit
Read more

The Wailing Creatures Written by Sumayyah Oluwafunbi Ogunsola

-
Image
The Wailing Creatures  W ritten by Sumayyah Oluwafunbi Ogunsola     With a big smile on and shiny gleaming teeth plastered on my sweaty face, I step inside the dusty building with the big bold inscription: ‘ WELCOME TO THE ZOO!’  As I walk around with my black heels making a pit-pat, click-clack sound, my eager brown irises get locked in a trance with the brownish red Hawaiian bird. The bird’s fluffy feathers gently ruffles, and his sad eyes stare at mine. ’13 YEARS OLD’ the sign on the cage says. I take a deep, heavy breath and trudge forward.           “Oooh!” the wail of a mama chimpanzee reaches my sensitive ears, causing my skin to have a minute goosebumps.    Heartbreaking scene of a mother chimpanzee and her child in black, rusted chains and anguished expressions on their faces, permanently etches itself in my head. ‘MOTHER: 29. BABY: 4’ sign, displays.           My white eyeballs blur as I get teary-eyed with my heart throbbing in my chest. The ground suddenly rumbles and
Read more

That’s NOT my father! Sumayyah Oluwafunbi Ogunsola

-
Image
      That’s NOT my Father!       Sumayyah Oluwafunbi  Ogunsola              It’s a bleak, dark late evening accompanied by torrent of rain and the howling of the wind; the power is out. My father and I sit down in the parlour, looking at each other and sighing in disappointment, as our fun day out was ruined. I glance at our pet cat, Tata, to see that she is fast asleep.               Exasperated, my father launches himself on the sofa and says to me, “I am going to get Starbucks. Wait for me.” Worried, I respond “In the rain, and at this time, dad? You have heard how dangerous people lurk in the cloak of darkness...” He cuts me off. Tells me there is nothing to worry about and that he would be back soon, after all, 'he is just going to Starbucks, right?' I shut the door behind him. 10 minutes. 15 minute… Tick tock! Tick tock!  I get irritated as an hour has passed since dad left the house. My hand trembling, I am about to dial the emergency number, when... Bang! Ba
Read more